Monday, June 4, 2007

I can't sleep because I'm mad

I keep telling myself to let things go, but I can't make that repartee loop in my head shut down.

Ever get that? I should have said this, I should have said that... Oh, if I get the chance, I will poke him in the chest with my finger and say this..."

Well, how useless it all is, really. You just feel all riled up and anxious and ready to fight, and dammit, if it were daylight and I were to run into him in the parking lot, I would go right up to his face and confront him.

But it's almost midnight and I'm pissed that he managed to make me so riled that I can't sleep.

I had two-three nice encounters today and two that managed to nullify the good. Which is not right. The good should outweigh the bad, yes?

My landlord is a fuckign wuss (and I misspelled that on purpose). If he can't keep his tenants civil, he shouldn't be renting to them.

I don't want to become a problem, but I am living with a bunch of damned low-rents and they are getting to me.

Oh. Dear.

I hear myself.

Complaining again.

Nuh. Uh. Only when I'm crossed or someone is rude to me.


I had a convo on the phone with the x-rom. Needless to say, she didn't call for no reason at all, just to inquire about my health. She managed to ask if I was able to give her any money towards what I owe her.

My hackles rose and I let a bit loose. I told her not to play the desperado because I'd seen her flaunt her brand-new 47" wall-mounted plasma TV and surround sound system to our other (cranky) roommate and then cry to him, "Oh! I am so broke! Do you have the rent?"

I don't fall for her shite anymore. I told her not to play stupid with me. I said I would be happy paying her $200 a month, just as her other friends are paying off their loans (for the cancelled trip to the DR in February - a total of $7K). And she had the nerve to answer, "Well, I'd prefer that we settle this very quickly."

You didn't catch me on the right day, m'dear. Actually, no day would have been the right one. You get $4700 a month for lying on your back and I earn maybe 1/3 of that.

I barked at her. I said "When it's convenient for me, I will pay you. Not when it's good for you."

How could I not fight back a bit? I've given her $2,600 in the past month. Is that not a sign of good faith?

I said as much, and she agreed and backed up a bit, and although I was a bit conciliatory, my words were pretty much along the lines of "You will wait until I am ready to give you more, you witch."

I didn't actually think "witch." I have a worse epithet for her, and it's not just one word.

Oh I hate this resentment.


dj said...

She is a piece of work. Dealing with someone like that is so frustrating and we both know I speak from experience. Bet you can't wait to put that behind you.

Lgirl said...

Thanks, Deej. I really, really want to get over this. Not just her, but other people, too.

Laura said...

Hope you bought a lottery ticket for that big draw. It would be so nice to be able to tell all the people like this to take your money and get lost. :) I bought two tickets but have not been brave enough to check them yet. Always so nice to have that day or nine to think that you may have won. I put off checking tickets and try not to hear about whoever really did win.