Maybe it's not love.

What do you do when you finally meet someone who makes you think out of the box for once? Where you think, "uh... maybe I could make this effort, make a real effort to have a relationship?"

I doubt he likes Prince. He might tolerate Prince but would never love Prince. And frankly? Any guy who loves Prince like I love Prince? Would have to be gay.

So I met this dude... he's kinda sweet. And he would have to put up with Prince and Criss Angel (new hair notwithstanding.) and my love of Steve Buscemi and/or John Malkovitch.

But he has a really, really big gut.

I'm not sure how to deal with mental attraction and a really REALLY big gut.

Tom Waits says it nicely*:

There's a place for us
Somewhere, a place for us
Peace and quiet
....
somewhere

There's a time for us
Some day, a time for us
Time together
Time to spare
Time to learn
Time to care

Someday, somewhere, we'll find a new
way of living
We'll find a way of forgiving
Somewhere

*from West Side Story. Which I've never seen.

(also? Tom does it on purpose, I'm sure: He sings "a plathe for uth"

More motel stories!

It would be a dull month if nothing happened at the motel, other than me blowing up at the landlord about my leaking toilet.

Two nights ago I headed out the door with a bag of 20 empty ginger ale cans (I usually give them to Old Wheezing Guy upstairs, but decided I could use 10 extra cents) and lo and behold! A police car in front of a neighbour's door! And a small group of people in earnest discussion, including landman and his wife.

The usual clutch of gossipers was sitting on the swing (you know, the kind of 4 person wood swing you generally see on the lawn at old folks' residences? We have one) and one of folks asked me where I was going.

This is what it's all about, around here... everyone has to know your slightest business. *sigh*

So I announced that I was going to the corner store for more ginger ale! I'm sure this was welcome news to all concerned. I jerked my head toward the police car behind us and whispered, "What's happening over there?"

Turns out one of the two dudes who lives in #19 flipped his lid. Turns out that both guys are schizophrenic and off their meds.

Not one, but too schizos! I can't spell that word, can I?

This is the second time the police have been called in for a disturbance at that apartment. It appears there was lots of noise during the night.

One of the guys in question I have had the dubious pleasure of meeting -- that time in the laundromat, when he got pissed at me for removing his clothes from the washing machine because his load was done.

I hope they get asked to move the hell out.

On cedars

My landlord has been outside for hours, trimming the cedar bushes back into phallic shapes.

Yeah it's nice and all, but it creeps me out. Because spiders love cedar. All of the cedars (including two large ones close to either side of my front entrance) are like apartment buildings, absolutely laced with filmy spider terraces/balconies, even spider penthouses with multiple decks higher up -- all equipped with those tunnels the homeowners scuttle from when a visitor drops in for dinner.

I HATE SPIDER TUNNELS.

So landman is blithely trimming away, most likely freaking out the spiders, which will probably pack their bags and leave home, e.g. decide that the area between my inside and outside windows is a safer place to live.

Why you shouldn't feed stray cats

Oh, dear. I have gotten myself into an emotional entanglement with the stray tabby.

He shows up twice a day (minimum), usually morning and evening, for his meals. Said meals are generally dry food mixed with wet, and a daily teaspoon of calcium pellets. Sometimes, if I have no canned cat food on hand (because by now he turns up his nose at plain dry food) I will mash up a hot dog, or shredded leftover meat, maybe chicken broth or leftover gravy, and animal fat.

Problem is, he wants to come inside all the time. Problem with THAT is, he backs up to various objects (e.g. my bed, dresser) and does the marking of territory thing. I haven't actually seen him spray, I think he's too young for it, but of course it will stink eventually.

Plus, he lies or sits on the porch or walkway and meows for me.

KILL ME NOW.

Still opening my mail

Rom!

Just trying to get Jeni's attention.

Rom opened my mail. Again. Called me, said "oooh sorry! opened your mail!" and all the details.

This is becoming increasingly unfunny. I hate that woman.

Thankfully, there are things like this out there.

Villains have bad names

This upcoming movie is sure to flop first night... straight to PPV or video...

I won't even mention the name or leading characters.

Mmm okay then, here's a hint:

Paris, 26, will play Heather Sweet, the daughter of the movie's villain, Geneco owner Rottismo Largo.

Could you get any stupider, Hollywood peeps? Really?

Young men, volleyball

Yes, I went to the hotel pool today. But I went alone, and felt like Missus Fucking Robinson, I swear.

I sat alone, pretty happy for the most part until a yung guy motioned for me over to the hot sand for a game of volleyball. He was of the dark-haired variety to which I am partial.

I was actually waiting for a different male buddy to show up. He didn't. I am tempted to give him hell for not daring to don a bathing suit... not sure. (I think I will)

See that photo? I am not in there.